I am a "slow dancer" wow.I feel pretty normal most days I really do. I don't mean "normal" in the sense of the word which I hate. Mundane. I've always been scared of becoming a mundane person. I hope I always continue to learn about myself and stay a little "Strage" without being a little weird life is not fun right?! I mean normal. Reliable, caring friendly, fun, special, capable, talented, average, I feel like I have a good handle on life walk through un-jaded most of the time with a big smile and ready to take what life throws at me, or search it out. I know I have a sarcastic edge coupled with a love of sardonic-however-affable people. Creative people, not your run of the mill. I don't know how I put myself in situations with people who suddenly seem so "not normal." Lets not be stupid I am a slow dancer....is that accurate? I guess. I mean I never really thought about looking for "love" in that context till I read it. I'm not looking for someone normal. I'm looking for someone special. A sense of humor with a little bit of spice a little weird...but that doesn't mean I should be slowly led to believe that I am someone "special" someone capable of being liked by this person. Slowly led into like...little by little waiting for their calls thinking about them in passing moments...only to find out they sucked. You had so much potential you seemed so amazing, caring, loving, funny....but then I came out feeling taken advantage of. Maybe I should be more jaded, maybe I should have wanted something from you in return. Maybe then I would have had some chips to negotiate with. I guess I'll live...a little dissapointment never killed off anyone's sunshine completely right?

in ear devils.
I HATE my In-ear headphones. Does hate seem like a fairly dramatic work for fairly inexpensive low end headphones? Possibly but sadly it is the only word suitable. After struggling to get the bud in my ear.....(trying all three of the sizes none of which seems to fit properly) I consulted the online support page; it's suggestion? "to aid in the proper positioning of the ear bud, open your ear canal a little wider when you insert the ear bud. Everyone's ears are different, but you can usually do this by grasping either the upper or lower part of your ear and pulling gently away from your head with one hand while slowly inserting the tip of the ear bud into the ear canal with the other hand." so I pulled and pushed. Once I get them in my ear, I am forced to remain in one stationary position so that the ear buds do not fall out. This excludes various activities such as running, talking, chewing/ drinking, breathing too hard, or turning your head to look down and documents you may be working on while stationary at your desk. should I engage in any of these "vigorous" activities the ear-buds fall into the outer canal sitting loosely and giving less that sub standard sound. Had I wanted to have something loosely sit in my ear I might have saved 35 dollars and used the standard ear buds. I am more than disappointed and want my 35 dollars back so I can go buy some sony ear phones. Sure they are not white....no they are not even pretty but they do provide acceptable sound quality for the same price.

Yeah well it's been like that the last few days. Reaching ones limit, which is a pretty interesting sensation when some of the limit os based on your own procrastination. "Just let it go you have my permission to be happy" Said Mr. Kennedy. I hope I can do so. I'm learning. I'm learning a lot about myself and the utilizing this "transitional period" in my life. Just don't forget to write more about it, you at least owe yourself a documented copy of these thought as often time growth is hindered by a short term memory. I would like to capture the feeling of frustration and anger towards this little man...mangiatorella. Fuck him. Not that we didn't mess up, but not that he didn't. Not that we didn't let everyone down a little, but not that he isn't a peice of shit with no communication skills. "Vi spiego subito....Mi segui Chris? Sei sicuro di non avere un problema capire l'italiano?" Who are you to be so pretentious? It's rather rediculous. When you stood up you were so little, mirroring the respect I have for you. You were broken, riduculous, sad and pathetic. I do not feel bad for you, exaggerating, pompus, confident but not compasionate. Everytime I start to feel I was mistaken stop and ask if you were wrong to not support a biggoted, passive agressive man. It shocks me we can arrive to this point in this day and age, of educated "cultural" people......you are not from our culture, but living here, shouldn't that give you more sensitivity? Instead you only more keenly display your blatant ignorance.

Scuola ha finalamente ricomincato! Dopo Questo ano penso che mi fa bene di avere una programma fissa. And here I am at Dominican. Slowly Starting the new year with a new smile, It's a few minutes after my first class and before my next one, I thik my smiles only a half struk grin now, feeling a little more unsure, and woundering when all the bling bling ghetto allstars arrived. I must have missed there show, two left handers, 7 boys and 6 bling blings, that wasn't the count last time I was here, one thing reamins the same , few fags paly into the counting game. No more calurega for lunch, no more quick naps or dashes to the internet, I am a four year student with four year housing arrangements (off cmapus) longer days, more relaxing breaks, all part of the plan. i'll check in to let you know I've made it.

Italy is filled with Piazz(e) I think I will miss that most. Nine months have now slowly, sometimes quickly ebbed away, and while I never thought about it on my own after being subject to other people comments I've realized no one will truely understand, even just describing to mom, how, no one would understand the dream I've lived for a year, she didn't understand or even give a hit she could pretend. Oh well when I get back I will want to document everything, ressurect it as an eternal memory a dream more concreat that only a handful of people scattered around the world, will remember, care, or even believe.

let get funkin.
As usual, the inspiration comes at awkward times. Currently in the bathroom drunk off of a vat of Chianti. I cought myself singing in the bathroom, and ran for a piece of paper. How so the spirit flies when inspired by the muses of the wine gods. I donít remember his name. I donítí remember a lot of things it seems. Especially being so close to and grabbing for a second what seemed to me to be yet another alternate time, something where the lights are dimmed and foggy and my emotions are not so elusive, something like a nightly dream. Good bye sweet love, I cannot wait for you ,my substitute for passion, and the smell of your sweet jacket. I will go on with out you and maybe one day Iíll catch up maybe better yet one day youíll slow down, until then, I will work on some pumpkin eating machine, to indulge away the hole.

Multo Dolce
actually record some. Some what? This new life in Italy, it's not so no, the extreme coincedence of coming here, is so destine that in fact I feel more out of place when not here. Maybe of course that is supplimented like some fever reducing asprin by my friends. Too many Aericanos not enough time. I have a slice of life here and I'll take my time. Obviously I haven't written for a while and I'm trying to avoid standard cliches and at least come up with original ones. WEll see how it goes. Blog one of four awesome and complete.

Didn't you.
The see shine the end of time is near. Half way through a place, I wanted to come here, I love it here, I can't believe the end is so near. I'm going no where with love, "they all say that I'm not impressive at best. That's ok I've got nobody to impress. My impression is they'd rather be elsewhere." -Harry Connick Jr. My music collection has grown by 25 since the beginnin of this year, but I still fall back on my classics.

Survivor Drowning.
Depression. It's a funny thing. Most people won't understand it. I didn't. The scary thing is my dreams slip away. Slip into the cages or fucking gay.com where everyone walks around like a fucking monkey, dicks hanging out of their pants and all, then I go on and try to prove myself like winning some trophy of a life. Pick me! Pick me! That's really all I am saying, who's profile can become the most colorful? Contraband in the spiteful game of the fags. I'm beating the depsression, I even have a smile on my face but what do I do with myself?

long after you're gone
if my skin could hold in the warmth of the sun forever, I wouldn't need it. I'm far from that point, but turning older by just another day gives me hope to reconcile my spirit to become anything I want. anywhere but now. Funk, Soul, Brotha

Oh well
oh my stop the quiet riot. Anyways, I'm starting mix tapes piano ballads and sit ups today. I got some loose leaf tea and I'm wearing a new pair of shorts. Things are looking up as the sky looks beautiful, overly content, things are just right

--First Morning (remember 4am) Off Trooper, to make the sweet brew that has been thrilling millions. Donít try so hard today. Do yourself a favor and chill with the cafť. Not understanding it would be your demise. At first I felt somewhat glorified, and I still do, but Iíve come to the realization that a connoisseur of any sort still has itís limitations.

DC for me
I feel like the music sounds better with you baby. I got my room assighnment today you can see a picture of it on the school page. Fanjeux livin' la vida loca yeah! get up and dance

I feel like the music sounds better with you baby. I got my room assighnment today you can see a picture of it on the school page. Fanjeux livin' la vida loca yeah! get up and dance

and I feel finally something is bending in the cosmos that I am peace, and living proof that God can love you too!